Will I ever stop learning?

Being a new midwife is hard. I think it is almost as hard a s being a new Mom. I am constantly learning new things about who I am and what I do as well as how I do them. As I learn my new lessons I find myself being really hard on myself. I know I am not a veteran midwife that has been practicing for ever and know all the little tricks. But, man I really want to be!
I had several annoying mishaps at my last birth. The most annoying of which was "the Doppler incident". It totally malfunctioned and was unusable by the end. I really wanted to throw it out the back door. So, I had to use the fetoscope which is fine. The part that really bugged me was that I told myself that I didn't ever want to use a Doppler. I decided to trade for one a few months ago and began falling into the ease of it. So, if I had of planned to use the fetoscope all along I would have never gotten so irritated by it's malfunction. Anyhow it's silly I know...But, I really felt like I wasted time interrupting the mom's natural flow fumbling with the stupid thing.
Which leads me to my next learning moment....the water birth. I love them they are really cool but, it is soooo hard to monitor the baby when the mom is in the water. I am not usually wound up about getting FHT often during labor. In fact, I think that we are taught to do it much more often than totally necessary. But, this time I was just feeling the need to check on the baby. Just another trick of the trade that I really need more practice with....

All in all, it was an AMAZING birth. "A" gave birth to an 11 pound baby boy! He is the cutest! I truly admire her for having the strength to push out such a big boy! Shew.....

My first entry

Well, so here I am...not sure how good I am going to be at this blogging stuff but I am going to give it my best try.

Today has been a rainy dreary day. I have had a painful cough and been really tired. Though, I have gotten plenty of rest. Which I am trying to keep up on because I am waiting patiently (lol) for A to have her baby. She was due on the 10th so we are expecting her start up any time now. I am really looking forward to her birth. She is planning a water birth and I want to try out a new technique I saw in a Russian water birth video. I was trained to bring the baby up out of the water immediately after birth. The Russian midwives bring the baby up very slowly to make the transition as gentle as possible. It takes patience and self control. It really forces everyone to slow down. I like that.
The last birth I attended was really great. I was there just barely long enough to start my equipment on to boil and make a cup of coffee before C was ready to push. I like to leave the couples alone until they call for and I could hear C in the back room saying "Yes! Yes!" She was really amazing and beautiful in that moment. She never really pushed she let her body do all of the work and her baby came out very gently. After the baby was born I held her out in front of C and said "take your baby C" Then I put the baby in her arms and we watched as the baby opened her eyes and looked at her mom. C said, "I need to suction" and I said very gently, "no, suctioning. Look she if fine." Then I saw C turn to her baby and realize the peace of this moment. We all sat on the floor smiling and gazing at the baby. C gave birth to a baby Girl 8lbs. 3 oz., she never cried.....